Well, here I am. For some reason people keep telling me I should start a blog, so I thought why not.

I guess I should start out by introducing myself. My name's Carl Phillips. I'm a van. A work van. There really isn't much to tell otherwise. I spend most of my time working. If you need to get somewhere I'm the guy that can get it done. You need to haul stuff? No problem. Get in the van. Let's go! Time is money. It ain't gonna get done by talking about it.

I guess this is a good time to get started on this blog thing. Why do they call it a blog, anyway? Seems kind of stupid to call it that. Blog sounds like some kind of sewage. I'd swear I heard something about the blog pits when I was a kid. Whatever.

Anyway I just got back from the doctor. Nothing serious, but during my last routine check-up they found a couple problems that could lead to something serious later on. Mostly to do with my emissions. I don't really want to talk about it, it's kind of embarrassing.

I had to stay overnight at the hospital, which was kind of lame but I guess sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to stay in good health. The nurses were nice. I just don't get on with sitting around very long. Things don't get done by sitting around you know.

The good news is I'm gonna be okay. They ran some tests the next day and I got a clean bill of health. They told me to take it easy for a couple days but I'm feeling good and am ready to get back to work bright and early tomorrow morning. Got the okay from my doctor so it'll be good to get back in the game!

I guess having a couple days off wasn't so bad, though. I got to hang out with my good friend Grazia. She's really nice. We're just friends, though. I suppose I've thought of asking her out, but she's way younger than me and besides if you ask me she's kinda wild for my tastes.

She plays her music too loud sometimes, and likes to go too fast. I keep telling her to keep it at the speed limit, but you know how young people are. She's a good kid, though. Got a good head on her shoulders. It was nice getting to spend time hanging out, we don't get to do that very much because of my work schedule.

Speaking of which, I better get going. Gotta be up early, you know. Missing even just a couple days really backs things up, I'm probably going to have to work late to get things back on track. All right, thanks for reading this. Take care.

~Carl Phillips the Van

Oh, and I highly recommend getting a regular tune-up. You won't believe how great it makes you feel!

Picture this. There is a big fountain in the middle of the public park. It is decorated with lots of carvings of leaves and curly things and squirty fish that have their mouths all bunched up like {O} and water coming out. It is a very nice fountain and lots of people throw coins and other shiny things into it because sometimes maybe they want to make a wish and see if it comes true or not even though it doesn't usually come true because it is just a fountain.

So now picture what YOU would do if you saw a fountain like that! Just out there in the middle of everything for everyone to play in! Right next to the political speeches going on! With their Huhhh-huhhh huhhh, look at me, I'm a politician! This is me talking, I'm a politician! BLAH BLAH BLAH politics, BLAH BLAH BLAH economic restructure, BLUGGA BLUGGA BLUGGA everyone do what I say I'm a politician and I go like this! 8-P

Right?

So if they're going to stand out there with their BLUGGA BLA HUHH HUHH RIGHT NEXT TO THE FISH FOUNTAIN OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING TO GET TO PLAY NERF SUPERSOAKERS WITH ME. AND I WAS SO WEARING CLOTHES. A HOOTERS WAITRESS OUTFIT IS CLOTHES. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY COULDN'T GET THEIR SUPERSOAKERS FILLED UP FASTER THAN I DID. IT IS ALSO NOT MY FAULT THAT I HAD ALL THAT MERINGUE WITH ME. I KNOW MY RIGHTS!!!!!

I hope they have another speech again next week! THAT WAS GREAT!